How not to find the theory of everything

Many men are bizarre creatures. The most bizarre are the physicists looking for the TOE. Here are the main types:

1. There are those men who continue exploring supersymmetric theories, even though every experiment since over 40 years has proven them wrong. Examples: Witten, Arkani-Hamed, Gross, arxiv/hep-th authors. 
2. There are those men that only explore quantum gravity, and think they can learn something doing so, against all experimental guidance and without even thinking about gauge interactions: Examples: Sen, Rovelli, arxiv/gr-qc authors.
3. Then there are the crackpots; the internet is full of them. Examples: vixra authors. They are harmless.
4. Then there are those men who make fun of all the above groups, but stubbornly refuse to look elsewhere, or to propose or even to discuss alternatives. Examples: Woit, Motl, writers of reviews of the field.
5. Finally there are those men who think than anybody looking for a TOE is a fool or mad. This group includes the majority of researchers.

Meeting such men is like visiting a zoo: you see strange animals, and you ask yourself what they do all day long in those cages.

1. Those are people continuously running against a solid wall, because they think the food is on the other side. 
2. Those people are searching for food in an illuminated empty room. 
3. They are begging for attention like small zoo animals begging for food.
4. These are watchdogs for herds.
5. These are herd animals - animals that nobody distinguishes from their neighbors.

Some men are even found in different cages at different times. Are there any researchers that are not in one of these cages? A researcher has to be outside a cage to find the TOE. This is the first condition for succeeding.

So the big question is: are there any male researchers that are outside cages? At present it seems that none is, thus that no man will find the theory of everything.

Isn't this sad? But there is a solution: a woman will do it. This is the second condition for succeeding.